Tuesday, January 1, 2008

Laws for the Protection of the Islamic Religion and Maldive Honour (Satire)

Entirely convinced that the purity of and enforced adherence to the Islamic Religion is essential to the further existence of the Maldive people, and inspired by the uncompromising determination to safeguard the future of the Maldive nation, the Reichjitungemajlis has unanimously resolved upon the following laws, which are either already in place or have been enacted for ratification by the Reichsuljumhourija

Please visit maldivesroyalfamily.com to read the full satire

Join the 21st Century!

Applying sharia to a society is a guaranteed recipe for disaster. Such a deleterious outcome is somewhat masked in the Arab Middle East because of oil. Were it not for the black gold, Arabs would be pounding sand.

Perhaps, something positive will emerge if Muslims were to emulate the West. (I know, that's shocking!) For starters, human rights (not treating a female as some property of her "guardian"), rule of law (instead of the age-old wasta), capitalism (as opposed to banning interest), tolerance of Jews (not getting an orgasm while thinking of killing them) and letting go of Arab superiority (which is truly an inferiority complex).

Another thing: most Westerners don't care about Islam and Muslims. If anything it's the actions of the Muslims that is waking up the West and making it notice the backwards umma. Maybe -- just maybe -- if Muslims hadn't obliterated two buildings in New York, murdered Aussies in Bali, terrorized and raped children in Beslan, exploded bombs in London and tried to cause mayhem in Canada, then the West might not portray them in a negative light.

Oh, and passionately advocating for the beating of hijab-free Muslim girls and the killing of those who leave the decrepit religion and perpetual war against non-Muslims doesn't help either.

This juvenile and utterly illogical effort to puff up the West as some evil monster that wants to crush Muslims and which thus must be opposed (or destroyed), so that the umma can prosper is pure poppycock.

Tell your umma to stop causing shit and join the 21st century!

With thanks to Isaac Schrödinger pakistani-born ex-muslim convention-refugee pro-usa